Peanuts

Melissa did not want to put her underwear on this morning, did Not want to get dressed, and most of all did NOT want her hair brushed. Unfortunately her mother did not want her to look like a wild pony, so it was not negotiable.

As I carted her off to the bathroom she wailed, "No! GRANDMA say NO comb hair!" She kept insisting that Grandma would not want her hair combed. When that tactic didn't work she howled, "You comb my hair, you make me cry!" All to no avail. Except for the scowl on her face she did look nice for church.

Which reminds me of last Sunday. I took Melissa to the ladies room before nursery. Out of a stall came a very large women, probably around 300 lbs. Naturally Melissa says the first thing that pops in her head. "Mama! She BIG!" I tried to shush her and gave the woman a quick apology before ducking into a stall. Melissa did not want to be shushed and repeated herself in case I and the rest of the ladies in the bathroom hadn't heard her. I wish I could teach two-year olds tack, but short of that I wish the floor would open up and swallow me.

Matthew went through a similar phase around two. He'd loudly point out anyone who was different. Once while eating at a restaurant we were seated across from an amply girthed couple. Matthew blurted out, "Look! They are FAT! He eat too much! Why he eat too much, Mama?" Ahhh! Fortunately he has since learned that it is inappropriate to comment on people's appearances. It might hurt their feelings. It hasn't dawned on Melissa yet...

This is part of the reason we keep a blog (aside from keeping family and friends up to date). We figure Matthew and Melissa stories will be good fodder for when they are teenagers. Paybacks, my dears, paybacks.

Sigh.
Tonight I made bread rolls and had some leftover dough that I braided into a loaf and left on the stove while the rolls cooked. During dinner I asked Jonathan to put the braided dough in the oven to rise, turn the oven on WARM, put the pan of water in the oven, and lastly put the casserole on low on the stove top to keep it warm. Five minutes later I noticed a burning smell. I opened the oven and smoke poured out. Apparently all the directions had been followed to a 'T' except turn the oven to WARM. Instead he'd turned it to BROIL! In his defense he blamed poor "user interface" On the stove top you turn the knob to the left for low; for the oven it is to the right. To the left is broil!