Sunday, May 04, 2014

January Peanuts

  • Seen on /r/Austin: "Maybe it's syphilis." "That would be better than cedar fever. They can cure syphilis."
  • Rachel: "Before he went to medical school, Grandpa Don worked in the pea fields." Matthew, suspiciously: "The pee fields? That sounds gross. Are you serious?"
  • Corinna noticed the cuff links Rachel got me for Christmas. "Ooooooooooh!"
  • Matthew doesn't like the red squiggly lines from spell check. So he turned it off.
  • Mom, spelling something out: "That's B as in boy, K as in potassium,..."
  • Isaac is teaching his plush Angry Bird to read. He is pleased that Angry Bird does not know as much as he does.
  • Achievement unlocked: page someone in Narita airport.
  • Japanese audiences are reluctant to ask questions. So one (Japanese) speaker broke his talk into four section and paused for questions after each. That way he got four questions instead of one. Brilliant!
  • In Japan I saw a shirt for sale that had this on the front and "My Free Damn" on the back. I thought it was hilarious but I decided Rachel would probably not approve, so I got a shirt with Fuji-sama and no Engrish instead.
  • I just had more raw fish for breakfast than most Americans eat in a year.
  • Me, at the taco truck: "Are you sure you don't want a coke? They have the real thing here, from Mexico." Aleksey: "No, that's purely an American problem. The rest of the world doesn't get your corn syrup crap."
  • 7 AM: Bus picks up kids. 9 AM: School autodials me. "Classes have been cancelled due to road conditions. Students already at school will be supervised for the day."
  • "Update 1:40 p.m.: Austin police have responded to 274 crashes since midnight." Texas really doesn't do cold well.
  • Told an executive to quit acting butthurt in a meeting today. I may be regressing in the tact department. But he was totally acting butthurt.


Adrasteia said...

These are awesome. My dad got me a magnet that says something like "Don't treat me like potato." There's also always the iconic shirt with a rainbow and smiles all over it that says "I hate myself and want to die." Ahhhh, Engrish.

Jonathan Ellis said...

I loved this one too:

Adrasteia said...

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA That's even better. I want it for work.