Remembering Grandpa

Grandpa died on Sunday. I miss him terribly even though I haven't lived near him in years. He'd been sick for the last few years; every time I'd come up to visit, he seemed weaker then the last time. Even so, I wasn't ready for his death. Whenever I'd call him on the phone and ask how he was doing, he'd give me a very hearty "Terrific! Couldn't be better!" (the liar!) He was a cheerful and gentle man.

Mom suggested that I write happy memories, but really, those are the only kind I have of him. My regret is that my children won't know him as I did, and so I will write so that they may know a little of him.

My Grandpa loved loud shirts, tools, large mugs of diet coke, ice cream, Grandma, and kids. He had a wild array of shirts tailored especially for him from the time he spent in the Philippines. Whenever anyone commented on his blindingly bright shirt, he'd respond, "Yeah, you should have seen it before the batteries died!" When wearing a more subdued top, he'd match it with a pair of tape measure suspenders or his stripy suspenders.

At one point he was quite the craftsman. In his old house he had a great workshop with lots of tools. Sometimes I'd go down there and watch him work on a small project. His workshop wasn't the tidiest though and he spent an awful lot of time rummaging through it trying to find the right tool. Jonathan wrote about his collection in a past post. If he couldn't find the tool, he just go out and buy another.

Whenever I traveled in the car with Grandpa the trip always consisted of a stop for a extra, extra large diet coke. When you're a kid whose parents considered soft drinks a waste of money, traveling with Grandpa was a wonderful thing. Naturally he'd order anything I'd like too. Whenever he'd ask if I'd like to go to the (hardware store, computer store, grocery store, or wherever) of course I would! For a while he and Uncle Keith had a largest mug competition going. I don't know who won in the end, but I have never seen so many enormous mugs gathered in one place.

Despite being diabetic, Grandpa had quite the sweet tooth. When we were kids he'd take us out for ice cream and have a little himself. He was good around my parents though. My Dad was his doctor and my Mom always made a sugar free dessert for him. At other times he wasn't at all opposed to just a bite or two...


Here's a picture taken in the Summer of 2004-
Wish I had some better pictures, these just don't do justice.

Living with Grandma and Grandpa for a year provided me a closeup view of their relationship. Due to school circumstances, I lived with them while attending ninth grade. My parents lived a few cities away. Grandpa and Grandma were deeply in love after all those years of marriage, and it showed. Grandpa liked surprising Grandma with flowers or treats for no reason at all. Or rather, the best reason of all, he loved her and wanted to make her happy. They played games together nearly every night that I was there. Sometimes Grandma would say, "Oh Damn!" if she made a bad move. Grandpa with a twinkle in his eye would tease, "What a naughty thing to say!" I never did hear Grandpa swear.

Grandma and Grandpa did have funny routines that had clearly been set over many years of marriage. One was the purse routine. Grandma has many wonderful characteristics, but promptness is not one of them. Grandpa would say, "We need to leave in one hour." At which point Grandma would start to get ready. Over an hour later, Grandma would nearly be done. Grandpa would find a chair in the kitchen, sit down, and sigh. "I just need to find my glasses." Grandpa would let out a bigger sigh. Ten minutes after that, "have you seen my purse? It's not where I left it!" Big sigh from Grandpa, "No Dear, have you checked here, there, or there?" "Yes I already looked and it's not there." Eventually Grandma would find the purse and they'd be out the door- somewhat past the hour time frame. Sometimes Grandpa would substitute sighing with flipping the TV channels in the kitchen. After all those years together, Grandpa didn't seem genuinely exasperated, it was just the routine. To Grandma's credit, she always got me to seminary on time (and she is NOT a morning person). I'd get myself ready in the morning then tap on her door. She'd take me as soon as I was ready to go.

Grandpa loved to tease Grandma. He'd tell her it was obvious he was more evolved than she because he had short stubby fingers; all the better suited for typing and using keyboards. On the other hand, her long fingers were barely removed from her vine swinging ancestors. Sometimes he'd tease with a perfectly straight face and she wouldn't realize he was kidding initially. When she did catch on she wave her hand and exclaim, "Oh you big tease!" To which he'd respond, "What? Me tease? I was serious!"

Of course sometimes they'd argue, but even their disagreements were fairly mild. Both Grandma and Grandpa were gentle people. I never saw either of them upset with the other for very long. There was an awful lot of kissing and flirting going on too! I never realized how much until I lived there everyday. I hope that I am so lucky in my golden years.

Grandpa had a marvelous singing voice and he'd often sing silly parodies to amuse us. One of my favorites was "After the Ball was Over."

After the ball was over,
Nelly took out her glass eye,
Kicked her false leg und'r the table,
Pulled out a bottle of rye.
Put her false teeth in the cupboard,
Hung her false wig on the wall.
After the ball was ooover,
There wasn't no Nelly at all!

Another was a ditty about an outhouse.

'Twas only a shanty in back of my country home
And the path that led there was mighty well worn
A sears roebuck catalog lay on the floor
And a half moon carved high in the door
Twas a place for Papa, for Mama, for me
Many happy the hours we spent there we three
Though it's all full of flies,
It's my paradise!
The shanty in back of my country home!

He had a great whistle too. I had never heard a gorgeous vibrato in a whistle to compare with my Grandpa's. When not whistling or singing, he liked to make us laugh with silly rhymes.

Ewey gooey was a worm. A mighty worm was he! He ventured on a railroad track, a train he did not see. Ewey Gooey!

I eat my peas with honey. I've done it all my life. It makes my peas taste funny, but it keeps them on my knife.

Little spider on the wall. Ain't got no mama, no mama at all. Ain't got no mama to comb his hair, but he don't care, he ain't got no hair.

My favorite rhyme I can't do justice typing. It was about thirty dirty purple birds sitting in curb and was done in a terrible thick "Jersey" accent. If you've never heard it you'll just have to take my word that it was hilarious.


Here's a picture of Grandpa holding Matthew as a baby.
He really loved kids and loved make us laugh and entertain us. He'd take us for rides on his tractor and in the trailer attached to the tractor. So much fun. I remember riding in New Jersey in the trailer as just a very small child and also in Washington as not such a small child. It was just as much fun when I was a little older. My parents made a cross country trip with my Grandparents when I was young. I do not remember much about that trip except that I got to ride with Grandpa in the truck. My Mom says that Grandpa and I held a screaming contest to see who could yell the loudest. He was patient with the many necessary pit stops. I'd get hungry, then thirsty, then I'd have to go the bathroom...again.

Grandpa was always extremely patient with me and from what I've heard all the rest of the grandkids too. He didn't raise his voice or get upset with us even when we'd done something foolish or something we'd specifically been warned about. Grandpa was able to get his point across without lectures or appearing angry. With him, I knew when I'd made a mistake, and I wanted do better.

My memories of Grandpa are sweet. I have still many more I haven't written about but will someday. I do regret very much not being able to see him once more before he died. I had a trip planned out for the end of the month to see him because Mom had said he was getting weaker, but my timing was poor. I will miss him very much. I suppose I am so sad because I loved him so much and it is hard to say goodbye. I know he's okay. He has suffered poor health for years, and it must be a relief to him to be free of that. Still I miss him...