Wednesday, April 01, 2015

February and March peanuts

  • Tommy keeps eating the crayons in nursery. I guess you're not big enough until you can tell the difference between coloring time and snack time.
  • Rachel: "Matthew wants to have a friend over." Me: "Did he have a 90% average this week like we discussed?" Rachel: "No. It wasn't really close." Matthew, eavesdropping: "Hey, at least I didn't fail!" He sets a high bar for himself.
  • Rachel: "If anything happens to me, marry someone extremely patient."
  • Me: "Let's watch So You Think You Can Dance." Rachel: "Not tonight. How about Sherlock Holmes?" "I don't want to commit to 90 minutes. What about Friends?" "Yuck. Burn Notice?" "What else is there?" "... I have manlier tastes in shows than you do."
  • I did 9 chin ups in a row today. Me: "I haven't done that many chin ups in twenty years!" Rachel: "You're probably even stronger now. You're packing a little extra around the middle."
  • Corinna refused to eat her brisket tonight until Rachel trimmed off all the bark. Some native Texan she turned out to be.
  • Matthew, playing mine craft with a friend online. I don't think he noticed that I sat down behind him. "You know how I haven't been online for weeks? What my parents did is, I have to get all my homework done. I have a *lot* of homework."
  • Yesterday, Melissa spilled her craft sequins all over the living room floor. Today, Tommy had sequins in his poop.
  • A co-worker told me a story about Christine: "Someone came up to me at the kickoff. 'Is that really Jonathan's sister?' I confirmed that she was. 'I would never have believed it. She has such good social skills!'"
  • At the park with the kids. There is a crushed grape on the sidewalk. A yellow jacket flies down and starts eating. Tommy reaches out to play. I move him down the sidewalk. Sometimes, what you don't know can hurt you.
  • In a swing with Tommy on my lap. Corinna is pushing us. Being pushed is more awesome than I expected.
  • Christine: "You're the most challenging member of the family to massage. David is muscular, but you're..." Me: "Padded?" Christine: "That's not the word I was looking for, but yes."
  • Put all the kids to bed. Isaac woke up vomiting about 10. He got it on himself, his bed, and his floor. Then instead of heading for the bathroom, he went next door to his sisters' and puked on their floor, Corinna's bed, and Corinna. And for good measure, a large Diego pillow.
  • Things Tommy wanted to eat today: Split pea soup, Charcoal, Soap. Things Tommy did not want to eat today: Eggs, Grapefruit.
  • Actual words said in my house tonight: "Why is Isaac naked in the back yard? It looks like he has his finger up his butt. Ew! Ew! He's pooping! Why would he do that? What could he have been thinking?" Isaac reports that he didn't have time to make it to the bathroom, but it was not diarrhea that we cleaned off the lawn.
  • Me: "You know what I haven't done in a while? Shrugs." David: "Now, you are a full-fledged lifter."

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