Peanuts

• Melissa gave a talk (her third?) in Sunday School about "God talks to us through prophets." Rachel wrote the talk; I helped. "Write about how God told Lehi to leave Jerusalem and it totally saved their butts," I suggested. "And put it in the talk like that: 'saved their butts.'" Rachel: "See, that's the reason I'm writing this talk, not you!"
  
• Rachel: "You know, some of your family can laugh at themselves, and some can't. Matthew got the side that can't."
  
• Matthew: "When nobody's talking, it's pretty quiet in this house. Quiet, and boring."
  
• Matthew: "Guess what I had for lunch?" I couldn't guess. "It started with an I." I still couldn't guess, and gave up. "Enchiladas!"
  
• Matthew: "How do you start the next episode on this [VHS] tape?"
  
• Matthew: "There are three homophones for 'ranch.'" Me: "What? No, there's two." Matthew: "No, there's three." Me: "There's ranch-the-farm, and ranch-the-salad-dressing." Matthew: "And ranch-the-tool!"
  
• Rachel: "I'm a little distracted. Genghis Kahn is invading." Civilization is cool that way.
  
• Rachel: "Dear, I just looked at Melissa's bed. You made her bed with my tablecloth?"
  
• Rachel [also to me]: "Before you get any ideas, cupcakes are NOT a breakfast food."
  
• When typing quickly, I sometimes spell things phonetically. I recently corrected spelling "case" as "kays." Hope this isn't a sign of early-onset dementia.
  
• Isaac has a ritual: whenever we let him out of his high chair, the first thing he does when his feet touch the floor is buckle the (now vacated) seat. He can't unlatch it yet, but buckling is something Big People do.
  
• We were slow to get the toddler-proof doorknob covers with child #3, and Isaac made us pay. One morning he helped himself to a fruit cup from the pantry, and opened it with his teeth. I discovered him kneeling in a puddle of high-fructose corn syrup, digging out fruit pieces with his fingers and making pleased noises. (Bath #1.) A few hours later on Rachel's watch, he helped himself to a soda can from the pantry and pried it open with his teeth. (Bath #2.) Then that evening he made the usual mess with his dinner, for Bath #3. That night, I bought doorknob covers.