The burger prank

Matthew volunteered to make me a hamburger. I opened it to see if he remembered to put mayonnaise on it and got a surprise.

(Photos taken 2015-08-30.)

First day of school with Grandma and Grandpa

(Photos taken 2015-08-24.)

Tommy's turn to drive

(Photos taken 2015-08-24.)

Animé Overload

(Photos taken 2015-08-15.)

June Peanuts

• I pulled something in my lower back. Sitting is painful. Walking is painful. Rachel: "You didn't go to the gym today, did you?" Me: "No. My back hurts." Rachel: "Well, that doesn't mean you can't work on your arms."
• Matthew is at band camp this week. He was supposed to Skype us from his laptop, since he couldn't find his phone. He left a message with a friend's phone that he was sorry but he couldn't get the wifi to work. Today we dropped off a cheap tracfone because Rachel was getting frustrated that he didn't call. Serious nerd points deducted.
• Matthew: "The food at camp was better than I expected. Yesterday I had 2 cinnamon rolls and cheesecake for lunch. And another cheesecake." Me: That was lunch? Matthew: And a coke.
• Matthew: I learned something important at band camp. People are crazy impressed if you can solve a rubix cube. Me: Girls too? Matthew: Sometimes. But the boys were more excited about it honestly.
• Matthew beat me at Carcassone. Playing during church is our new tradition.
• Rachel: "Jonathan would have looked good in the 1920s." David: "Because everyone wore hats."
• Rachel: "Corinna, don't pull your pants down in front of your brother while singing, Butt butt butt butt."
• Tommy threw a tantrum because Mommy wouldn't give him more medicine.
• Isaac (almost 7) had a hot dog, potatoes, and fruit salad... then he ate about 10 ounces of steak. While eating he treated me to an extended discourse on how he likes steak best because of the juices, and how his Mommy makes the best steaks.
• Tommy (15m) brought me a diaper. I put it on my desk. He squatted down and pooped. Then he handed me the diaper again. I got the message. He might be our youngest to potty train by a wide margin.
• Helped Mom and Dad move into Austin. Mom said to leave access to the phone jack in the office. Then she had to explain land lines to Matthew.

Tommy likes to drive

(Photos taken 2015-08-16.)

Tommy tries some unsanctioned salsa

Unclear if he's a fan.

(Photos taken 2015-08-10.)

Isaac's birthday, day two

Pokemon cards from Mom and an Android - enabled camera spy tank from Dad. The pokemon is a huge hit with Isaac. The tank is a huge hit with Matthew.

(Photos taken 2015-08-09.)

May Peanuts

• OH: "I'm having a good laugh thinking of Jonathan in Sales. Putting the cold in cold calling."
• Rachel: 'Why are you in your swimming suit?" Corinna: "'Cause I can't find my 'jammies. But I can find my swimming suit!"
• I'm pretty allergic to fire ants and got stung several times doing bear crawls with David in the park yesterday. Looking up treatment. Lots of advice on "don't go near fire ants if you're allergic." Thanks, Captain Obvious. (Ended up going to the doctor the next day. He said the swelling on my wrist was probably a spider bite and gave me cephalexin.)
• Four months ago, I got a new guitar. Corinna came with me to the store and the bright pink guitar on the wall stole her heart. I told her she wasn't big enough for a guitar yet. Today she came over to me. "Papa, regarde!" She demonstrated how she could buckle the toddler leash on herself AND unbuckle it. "I bigger! I have pink guitar now?"
• Tommy (14 months) understands "put this in the trash can." But he has only about a 20% chance of remembering what he's supposed to do by the time he gets there. (Rachel adds, "Sometimes he likes to make withdrawals from the trashcan instead of deposits.")
• Matthew (12) has his first zit.
• It is 4:30. Isaac is practicing the violin. Matthew is practicing the French horn. This would have been a good day to commute to the office.
• Rachel and I saw They Might Be Giants with Joshua and Jeni Slack.  Fun show.
• Me: "Your new washing machine is nice, but maybe we should get a smaller model. We can't close the door to the laundry room anymore." Rachel: "If you think about it, the problem isn't that the machine is too big. The problem is the room is too small."
• "Jonathan, we just added a movie you might like: Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast." Looks like it's time for another talk with the kids about logging in to the right Netflix account.
• Had a floor-spinningly good workout with David today. 240 lb "farmer carries" followed by sprinting and battle ropes. Been a while since I felt that out of shape. Bonus: Christine was showing me up too. Nothing like panting on the floor while your little sister does recline rows and pull ups.
• I'm not sure what they were fighting about, but I called Melissa to the kitchen to unload the dishes and now she is humming through gritted teeth, "Matthew is a carrot. Matthew is a carrot. Matthew ... "
• It's hard to find the right words to describe how epic Monday's workout was. Let me put it this way. I've gone 38 years more or less oblivious to whatever muscles control your ankles. I did my job, they did theirs, and that was that. Today, my ankle muscles are sore. They would have felt left out otherwise, because everything else is too.
• Corinna: "I want two babies. A pink one, and a black one."

April Peanuts

• Buick had major engine problems. Bad rod bearing or something similarly catastrophic. Under warranty, but the dealer we took it to said we didn't have sufficient documentation of oil changes (we let it go about 10k miles without a change at one point) and wanted $7000 to fix it.  Fortunately we tried a second dealer who just fixed it for free.  (This took weeks from start to finish.)
• Melissa just absent-mindedly called my sister Christine "Dad." At least when I mix up my kids' names I keep it within gender boundaries.  Update: this has become something of a habit.  She slips up about every other visit from Christine.
• Dad is in town. That means he's fixing things.  Up first: new in-wall microwave whose mounting kit didn't quite mount it. I think the remediation plan involves an angle grinder.
• Dad: "Why is your internet so slow?" Well. Time to upgrade.
• I spent way too much time this month playing Dungeon of the Endless.
• Took family pictures in a fire-ant infested clearing. I woke up at 5 AM the next morning because the dozen ant bites on my feet itched so intensely. Next year: indoor pictures.
• Ate ramen every day on my Tokyo trip. I call that a success.
• Also in Tokyo: There was no gym in the hotel, and it was a small Japanese-style room with not much room to exercise. There was barely room to get down and do push ups, but not enough to do sit-throughs. So I asked myself, "What would David do?" And I put the desk and chair on the bed to make room.
• Corinna, 3, likes to sing along with the Teen Titans theme song. I think she knows more of the words than even Let it Go.
• How to stop smoking, according to Melissa (10): "Keep a lollipop in your mouth."