Wednesday, January 28, 2015

September peanuts

Apparently September was the month of David stories...
  • Did an inverted pushup today [sept 2] for the first time in about 15 years.
  • The exercise clubhouse at David's apartment has a toilet, but no sink. David: "You lift heavy weights, and you don't wash your hands. It's a manly clubhouse. Or it would be if they had any heavy weights."
  • Me: "I think I'm shot because of your run this morning." David: "My running wasn't the problem. Its yours."
  • David: "That's not part of our routine." Me: "The bent-over gasping for breath is always part of our routine." David: "If you're going to do that, at least breathe with your diaphragm."
  • Rachel: "Matthew, give Isaac a hug and go." Isaac: "But not a kiss."
  • Matthew's French horn practice drove me to put my gun range ear protection on. "We should make him practice in the garage." Rachel: "Once he went to his room, it wasn't so bad." "His room is directly above my office!" "Stuff rags in the vents. Maybe it will help. We want to encourage him." "Are you sure?"
  • David: "We'll start whenever you're ready." Me: "I'm ready, unless we're doing more leg exercises next." "We're working on the stomach next." "I can handle that." "Yes. Yes, you have plenty of stomach."
  • Rachel: "Just one order of queso?" Me: "Let's order a second for tomorrow." This is why growing up was worth it.
  • Hired someone to fix my damn printer's network issues. Tech, mumbling to himself: "Why would it think it's not connected to the network?" 10% of me is sad that I am not fixing this myself. The other 90% is delighted.
  • David: "It's hard for people to imagine what it's like to be in shape when the closest they've been is lifting light weights at Planet Fitness next to some dude eating pizza."
  • Apparently it does not go without saying that you do not pour sand down the kitchen sink. Damn it, Matthew.
  • Rachel allowed Matthew to set up the kids' new Windows laptop. He created a Matthew account with administrator powers, password protected it, and forgot the password. In fairness, he completely remembers what he INTENDED to set the password to. But that is not what he actually typed. (I found him instructions for building a USB key to reset it. He did, after three days of complaining that it was too hard.)
  • Me, doing bridges with a 25 lb weight on my stomach: "Eeeaaaaauuuuuuuugh!" David: "I haven't heard that noise since my wife was in labor!"
  • I try to pull myself up from the floor using a rubber exercise band hanging from the weight cage. It doesn't work very well. David: "For a brilliant man, you sure do a lot of stupid things."
  • David: "You know it's been a good workout when you have trouble reaching up to wipe the sweat from your eyes."
  • Rachel is watching a video on medieval obstetrics. I asked her to put on a pair of headphones, because yes I am squeamish.
  • Melissa: "If we moved to London, we'd have to learn English!"
  • Matthew offered to weed the garden in exchange for Minecraft on the XBox One. I think the draw is that multiplayer with his sister on the PC is kind of painful. Me: "Up to four in split screen? Isaac will be in heaven! ... I need to order another controller." Rachel: "Tonight."
  • Me: "I'm pretty thoroughly domesticated, at this point." Rachel couldn't stop laughing for several minutes.
  • David: "To finish our workout, we're going to do biceps." Me: "We already did biceps today." David: "A *different* part of the biceps." Me: "I'm pretty sure the biceps is a single muscle." David:
  • Corinna watched Cinderella this morning for the first time. When it was over, she wanted to watch it again immediately. Still little girl crack after 60+ years.
  • David: "For this exercise, you should take your shoes off." Me: "But your shoes are still on." David: "I'm more flexible than you are."
  • David writes: "While picking up some pizzas tonight with my niece [Melissa], after we enter the pizzeria, she commented, 'You were right Uncle David. This place really does look like a hole in the wall!' I need to be more careful what I say around her."
  • Rachel: "Did you help Corinna paint her toes?" [While Rachel was on a trip to Washington.] Me: "No. She got into your polish and painted them herself. And she painted the floor, too." "The wood, or the tile?" "Yes."

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