Matthew was nicknamed "Peanut" by his mother shortly after birth. How shortly, we're not really sure anymore; within the first few sleep-deprived days is all we remember. Matthew never did go through that period of sleeping all the time that baby books tell you newborns are supposed to have. Since his first abnormally alert days he's just become more and more active, and at some point his uncle Grant conferred upon him the moniker Savage.
Wednesday, November 30, 2016
One last poop story
One of the earliest stories on the Savage Peanut detailed how I stepped in Matthew's poop during an unfortunate potty training incident.
Twelve years later, I close out my potty training career by stepping in Tommy's poop.
It started when Tommy came down from his bedroom. (Again. Half an hour after bedtime.)
"I peed my diaper."
I sighed. I think he's getting lazy and using his diaper at night when really he could make it to the bathroom if he bothered. I have him pee into the toilet to get him good and drained and get another diaper.
But he decided he had more business first. "I go caca." And he climbed on the toilet to do a two.
I sat back down outside the bathroom to read. Soon enough his Majesty called for the lord of the stool. "I ready wipe!"
I wiped the royal butt. "Watch out, Dad!" he warned me. "Watch out!"
"Watch out for what?" I wondered. Then I looked down. My foot was in a pile of poo that he dropped before he quite made it onto the throne.
Fortunately at some point during the last twelve years they invented clorox wipes. I scrubbed both my foot and the floor, then I re-diapered Tommy and sent him back to bed one last time.
Twelve years later, I close out my potty training career by stepping in Tommy's poop.
It started when Tommy came down from his bedroom. (Again. Half an hour after bedtime.)
"I peed my diaper."
I sighed. I think he's getting lazy and using his diaper at night when really he could make it to the bathroom if he bothered. I have him pee into the toilet to get him good and drained and get another diaper.
But he decided he had more business first. "I go caca." And he climbed on the toilet to do a two.
I sat back down outside the bathroom to read. Soon enough his Majesty called for the lord of the stool. "I ready wipe!"
I wiped the royal butt. "Watch out, Dad!" he warned me. "Watch out!"
"Watch out for what?" I wondered. Then I looked down. My foot was in a pile of poo that he dropped before he quite made it onto the throne.
Fortunately at some point during the last twelve years they invented clorox wipes. I scrubbed both my foot and the floor, then I re-diapered Tommy and sent him back to bed one last time.
Thursday, November 10, 2016
The limits of art
Sunday, October 30, 2016
Saturday, October 29, 2016
Tuesday, October 11, 2016
Thursday, September 29, 2016
Monday, September 26, 2016
Sunday, August 14, 2016
Sunday, August 07, 2016
Saturday, July 30, 2016
Monday, July 04, 2016
Tuesday, June 28, 2016
Thursday, June 23, 2016
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
Saturday, June 18, 2016
Monday, June 06, 2016
Lunch with Melissa
Sunday, June 05, 2016
Sunday, May 08, 2016
Monday, May 02, 2016
Mopping up the floor this morning
Saturday, April 30, 2016
Tommy goes commando
At McDonald's this morning, Tommy decided he needed to use the potty. This was after he soaked his diaper, so I didn't put the wet diaper back on him afterwards. I didn't have a spare either, so he went home commando.
Then I forgot about it.
When Rachel woke up, she asked me how the kids were at McDonald's, and that reminded me that I had some unfinished business to take care of.
I checked Tommy, who was watching cartoons on the couch. His pants were wet. Too bad, but no big deal. I pulled them off of him as he sat there.
A huge load of poo came out of the pants and onto the couch.
I sent out a code red. "Matthew! Wipes!" I cleaned up Tommy and the couch, but this was more than baby wipes could handle. Matthew couldn't find the clorox, so I diapered Tommy and got that myself. Rachel must have wondered why doors were opening and closing all over as I searched for it.
Then I forgot about it.
When Rachel woke up, she asked me how the kids were at McDonald's, and that reminded me that I had some unfinished business to take care of.
I checked Tommy, who was watching cartoons on the couch. His pants were wet. Too bad, but no big deal. I pulled them off of him as he sat there.
A huge load of poo came out of the pants and onto the couch.
I sent out a code red. "Matthew! Wipes!" I cleaned up Tommy and the couch, but this was more than baby wipes could handle. Matthew couldn't find the clorox, so I diapered Tommy and got that myself. Rachel must have wondered why doors were opening and closing all over as I searched for it.
Sunday, April 24, 2016
Friday, April 22, 2016
Sunday, April 10, 2016
Saturday, April 02, 2016
Monday, March 21, 2016
Matthew's craptop
Sunday, March 20, 2016
Saturday, March 19, 2016
Tommy's first poop on the toilet
Thursday, March 17, 2016
Wednesday, March 16, 2016
Sunday, March 13, 2016
Tommy's ritual
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