The Savage Peanut

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

One last poop story

One of the earliest stories on the Savage Peanut detailed how I stepped in Matthew's poop during an unfortunate potty training incident.

Twelve years later, I close out my potty training career by stepping in Tommy's poop.

It started when Tommy came down from his bedroom. (Again. Half an hour after bedtime.)

"I peed my diaper."

I sighed. I think he's getting lazy and using his diaper at night when really he could make it to the bathroom if he bothered. I have him pee into the toilet to get him good and drained and get another diaper.

But he decided he had more business first. "I go caca." And he climbed on the toilet to do a two.

I sat back down outside the bathroom to read. Soon enough his Majesty called for the lord of the stool. "I ready wipe!"

I wiped the royal butt. "Watch out, Dad!" he warned me. "Watch out!"

"Watch out for what?" I wondered. Then I looked down. My foot was in a pile of poo that he dropped before he quite made it onto the throne.

Fortunately at some point during the last twelve years they invented clorox wipes. I scrubbed both my foot and the floor, then I re-diapered Tommy and sent him back to bed one last time.