What Isaac and Uncle David have in common

Rachel already wrote about taking Corinna to Washington by herself.  Brian and Kirsti were having their reception on the Sinden side, but the tickets to get there in time were substantially more expensive than to fly out on Sunday.  So we sent Rachel on ahead, and the kids and I followed.

The day before Rachel left, she went shopping for snacks for the trip.  I made each of the three older kids a Snack Pack in a gallon ziplock bag: two kinds of crackers, two granola bars, a box of Barnum animal crackers--the good kind--and a pack of gum.  Isaac ate his gum first thing, swallowing each piece after he'd chewed out the flavor.
Rachel also got snacks for Bubbles.  One of these was a plastic jar of puffed rice.  Isaac liberated its contents all over the minivan on the way back from the store.  Rachel told him that he'd have to clean it up, but it fell to me to enforce this.

After much swearing because the power outlets on the outside of the garage don't work, I daisy chained three extension cords to get the vacuum to reach.  (In retrospect, I should have found one of those quarter-powered car wash vacuums.)  I set Isaac to work vacuuming.  I also gave Matthew and Melissa each a bag and had them put trash in one and non-trash in the other.

Then I went back inside to clean the kitchen.

I checked on them twice.  Matthew and Melissa were making glacially slow progress, which was normal for them.  Isaac was actually taking his job surprisingly seriously, making rapid progress with credible results.

Before I checked a third time, Matthew appeared.  I was cleaning off the table with a rag.  "Isaac got into this," he said, and handed the envelope I had left in the car containing my reply to this year's CP2000 letter.  Now it was empty except for 3/4 of a check made out to the US Treasury.

I freaked out.  I did not want to have to redo that.

I ran out to the car.  I showed Isaac the envelope and chewed him out.  ("You do not open mail unasked!")  Then I set about looking for the three pages of my reply.

I looked in the front seat.  In the back seat.  Under all the seats.  In the trunk.  In the bags Matthew and Melissa had (of course they weren't done yet).  I couldn't find it.  I looked in the neighbor's yard and down the street.  It hadn't been blown there either.

Finally I resigned myself to finding online copies of the forms that I'd gathered and printing out duplicates.  I walked into the house through the garage, cursing under my breath...  and there were the pages, crumpled, in the garage. Blown there after Isaac threw them out as uninteresting, I suppose.

That's life with Isaac.  Casual destruction and a willful disregard for instructions that don't happen to align with his own priorities.

One more example.  Tonight we're in a two-room suite in Bellvue, near my sister Telitha--who, I should add, would find a way to fit us in her house if we asked, but with three kids of her own and under 900 sq ft, it would be more than a tight fit.

So we put the three older kids to bed in one room, and Corinna down in the other.  Matthew, Melissa, and Isaac were not quiet, but they stayed in their room and that was good enough to start.

Then there was a clunk, and Matthew came out.  Sometimes I think he enjoys being the bearer of ill tidings. Or maybe he just likes seeing Isaac get in trouble.  "Mom," he announced, "Isaac broke something."

"Fine. Go back to bed; we'll have a look in the morning," was my reaction.  But Rachel went to see what it was.

"Damn it, Isaac!" I heard her say.  That got my attention.  Rachel never says anything stronger than "darn."  I went to see, too: Isaac had climbed on the heating vent, vigorously enough to tear it from the wall.  Not a welcome sight at all, when you just want to get the kids the hell to bed so you can have some peace before turning in yourself.

This reminded me of my dad.  Not the damage, but the frustration.  Like Rachel, my father is a man with a very civil tongue.  In all my years growing up, I heard him say "damn" exactly twice: once when he slipped while hammering a nail and struck his thumb full force, and once when my brother David pushed his patience past the breaking point.

Sorry, Dad.  Ellis kids are tough customers.

Isaac + Scissors

Sigh.  There was only thing to do...

Isaac's first summer buzz.  He was pleased.

Sleepy Isaac

Sleepy Isaac, a photo by jbellis on Flickr.

Isaac fell asleep on the way home from the store. It fell to me to wake him for dinner.

I scratched his back slowly. He woke up groggy, so I took him to the rocking chair. He was snuggly.

Then he peed on my lap.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY, a photo by jbellis on Flickr.

At church people kept giving him treats and saying it was for Mother's Day. It became his greeting: "Hă mŭ day!"

After church he ate the treats himself. Isaac likes Mother's Day.

Nummy!

Untitled, a photo by jbellis on Flickr.

Isaac only recently decided that he likes donuts. Especially donuts with strawberry filling.

Use Your Words

Overheard from the back of the car: 

Yuck! Yum! 

Issa Yuck!  Isaac Yum!  

Yuck! Yum!

"Moooom!  Isaac keeps calling me yuck!  Make him stooop!"

Sure enough, Isaac was pointing to his sister and calling her yuck.  He grinned back at me, pleased with himself for getting a rise out of Melissa.  This is the first time Isaac has teased Melissa verbally.  And so it begins! 

Everyday Isaac finds another new word to test out.  A few days ago his word of the day was gross.  Throughout that day he looked for things he could appropriately label gross, and did so with great relish.  

Preschool

Although I started the ball rolling back in September, Isaac just began the special ed preschool on Thursday, the day following the ARD meeting (Admission Review Dismissal Meeting).  I confess, I am pretty nervous about him starting; he is still very little.  He is in a class with a speech therapist, an early childhood development teacher, and an assistant.  He will also participate in regular classes like PE and music.  The class size is very small.

The assessment team determined that Isaac qualified for the full 20 hours of preschool a week (4 hours a day) primarily due to the severity of his speech delay, but we are starting him at just 10 hours to ease him into the classroom setting and increasing the hours as long as he is happy and doing well.

I've had a lot of mixed feelings about all of this.  Ordinarily, I think 3 year-olds are too young to start a formal preschool, and they really can get all they need at home with their parents, playgroups, and outings.  I joined mother's preschool co-opts with Matthew and Melissa when they were 3 and we had a lot of fun doing that together. I will miss doing that with Isaac. 

Isaac, on the other hand, needs more specialize help than we know how to provide.  His inability to communicate has caused a lot of frustration and tantrums.  It is also holding him back socially and cognitively, I believe.  Speech therapy twice a week has helped, and he has made great strides, but he does need more.  When I talked with his private speech therapist, she wholeheartedly agreed with the school's recommendations. He will continue working with his private therapist twice a week.

Sooo, the first two days seemed to have gone very well.  His teacher reports that his is happy and is adjusting well.  When I leave him in the mornings he is a bit concerned, but no tears, and when I picked him up later, he is very happy to see me.  He also is just dying to ride the school buses that bring the later kids and tried to climb aboard.  I have to practically drag him away and promise him good things his coming later his way to divert his attention.  Perhaps he will ride them in the mornings, and then eventually afternoons, depending upon what transportation says the pick up time will be...

Ha!  And I was concerned about him being afraid of the buses!

I think, hope, and pray we made the right decision with this little guy.  He is different that his big siblings and the things he needs are different.  Right from the very start this small fellow has overturned our previous ideas, and rocked our world.  

Oh, how he tries our patience constantly, increases the love in our home, and, I believe, makes us better people. I love the little man fiercely, deeply, and passionately.

His three year old expressions of joy and affection melt all of our hearts.

A Present for Mama

Isaac spent hours beading.

When he was done he asked his dad to tie the ends together. Dad tried to put it on Isaac afterwards. "No, no!" he protested. Then he ran over to me and proudly presented it: "Mama neck!"

The necklace goes down to my hips and has a wild assortment of beads- and I love it.

Preschool Evaluation

Isaac art. The figure on the left is Isaac. He got frustrated by the mouth of "mama" he was drawing, declared it "poop," and stopped working on it. Couldn't find his other drawings, so this one will have to do.

Wednesday the 7th, Isaac had the formal preschool evaluation through the school district. Since he is from a "bilingual" household they had a French speaking interpreter there. The evaluation process was almost identical to the play-based pre-assessment. The speech pathologist, child psychologist, and an administrative official watched him play, spoke and tried to engage him in different activities, and made notes. The French interpreter not very useful though. After watching for a half hour, they wanted her to initiate play with him in French. She didn't know what to say or do and really didn't know how to speak to small children. Isaac basically ignored her and kept returning to the original assessors. And I know he understood, her, she just wasn't particularly interesting to him. Dommage!

At the end of their evaluation they had a brief meeting with me. In that meeting they said he definitely qualified for preschool, and in fact they were recommending the most intensive, 4 hours a day 5 days a week preschool. They have several preschool programs ranging from just speech therapy to social, cognitive, and physical therapy. Isaac has severe speech delays, some social delays (they noticed that he is very rigid in his play and doesn't take kindly to outside suggestions to change the play), and some gaps in his cognitive development.

It is hard to come to the terms that he does indeed fall under the "special needs" umbrella. I just see him as my little boy, my Isaac. Originally I thought he just had speech delays, then, as he got closer to 3 noticed the social problems. As far as gaps in his cognitive development, I think at least part of that stems from his inability to effectively communicate and interact with people. There is definitely a spark in that child, I know there is! He is very clever in some areas, such as problem solving and puzzles. He also has excellent control of his body, both fine and gross motor control. Jonathan is more practical about it, "If the label fits, so be it, as long as he is getting the help he needs." He is right.

The next step in the process will be the ARD meeting with the school district in which we will set some goals, determine the suitable program, and have him registered for school. Fortunately, we as parents have a lot of flexibility. We can alter the days and the length of time he is in school to what works best for Isaac. Before the meeting we'll check out the preschool, meet the teachers, submit paperwork. There is a lot still to learn before the ARD meeting which will influence our decisions...


The ARD meeting will likely take place at the end of January after the formal written evaluation is submitted. After that he can enroll in school. We'll see how things go!

I told Isaac I wasn't interested in helping him play in the water

I don't think he missed me.

Two-fisted hot dog eating

Two-fisted hot dog eating, a photo by jbellis on Flickr.

Isaac's book of words

Isaac's book of words, a photo by jbellis on Flickr.

Fly with me!

A few days ago I saw Isaac jumping off of his chair with him arms outstretched.  He did this over and over again. 

Isaac, what are you doing?

Fly!

I wasn't sure if I heard correctly since fly isn't a word he's ever used before so I asked,

Are you flying?

Yeah! Fly!

Then he flapped his arms to demonstrate. 

Fly! Fly!

He laughed and we both flew.



Later I told Jonathan the story.  Isaac overheard and had an idea.  He pushed a chair over to where his Daddy was sitting.  Then he lept off of the chair, flapped his arms, happily yelled "fly!" and launched himself onto his Dad's lap to the amusement of them both.

Ties

I gave Isaac a choice between two ties to wear to church.  He chose one and decided that Daddy should wear the other one.

So Jonathan did.  To church.  "I got quite a few comments on my tie today!"

Some Isaac pictures

Isaac commissioned an artwork from Paul. First, I tried: "Eye!" Isaac said. So I drew a huge capital I. "Ssssss" he hissed. I drew an S, on top of the I. Isaac did not approve: "No no no!" Rachel laughed. "He wants you to write his name. He knows the S comes after the I." So I tried again: "ISAAC." So far so good. "Mama!" Isaac demanded. I wrote "MAMA." "No no no!" He wanted a drawing of Mama.

Isaac was out of confidence. It was Paul's turn. He wrote Isaac and drew Mama and Dada and Wawa [Matthew] and Issa [Melissa] and Baby (in Dad's arm). Isaac was pleased. He took the drawing over to each family member and proudly pointed out their avatar.

Isaac likes to hold Baby. He is a gentle brother, and solicitous of his sister, as three year olds go. "Baby sad!" he will say if she cries, and get her a pacifier or a toy.

Isaac eats part of Matthew's bible. I'm still waiting for him to outgrow the wanton destruction phase.

With Uncle Brian.

Blowing bubbles.

Packing a "lunch," just like the big kids.

Another episode of destruction, this one of Rachel's Eternal Sonata game manual. Sigh.

Speech Therapy Update

It took nearly two months of waiting, but Isaac was seen by the play based assessment team for the school district on Tuesday.  The assessment room was filled with all sorts of toys.  There was a toy kitchen, a trampoline, a slide, a lego table, trucks, puzzles large and small, stuffed animals, paper, crayons, markers, games, and tons of different kinds of blocks.  They basically turned Isaac loose and watched him play and interact with them.  Naturally Isaac attempted to try it all.

After an hour of play, they concluded that he had great fine and gross motor skills.  They were amazed that he could handle scissors so well at three years old and that he was very coordinated in his leaps onto and off of the trampoline.  He also showed an affinity for puzzles and problem solving. [As his parents, we are very aware of his problem solving skills.  He's been know to stack odds and ends on top of each other in order to climb up to reach the forbidden.  The top of the refrigerator is no longer safe, nor the highest shelves.  I recently purchased a safe for Matthew so he can keep his prized possessions locked up from the dynamite destruct-o.  Also he uses tools to open or unlatch objects.  For instance, he takes the broom handle and slides the chain lock off at the top of the door.  As far as puzzles, he can put about half of the United States puzzle map together just by matching pieces.]  He does engage in imaginative play, and sorts things by color, type, and shape.  However, he doesn't know the names of all the colors or shapes. 

The bad news is that he is indeed severely speech delayed [which we knew], and he is behind socially [yep].  It is hard to determine how much the social delay is caused by his inability to communicate or if there are other factors at work.  He is rigid in his play and does not like it when others try to change the play scenario.  He has his own ideas about how things should be and protests when other people do things differently.  This makes it hard for him to interact with other children.  They were also concerned by his lack of attention span.  Some toys engaged his attention for a while but others only held his interest for a few seconds.  He flitted from one activity to the next and it was hard to get his attention sometimes.  I'm less concerned by the attention span/inattention though.  First of all it was a Very Cool place to play and naturally he wanted to try it all.  He didn't waste his time with things he deemed boring.  Secondly, we've been there before with Melissa.  She can wander into "Melissa la la land."  I remember discussing this with my mother and she laughed and said Chris was just like that.  In order to get his attention they had to cup his face with their hands, place their face a few inches away, look him directly in the eye, and then talk to him.  He also got the constant admonition to "think before acting."  Over time he matured and his attention span grew.  Melissa is doing much better now too, though she still sometimes lapses. 

The assessment was a bit of a mixed bag.  However it was clear to them that he should go onto the formal evaluation.  I guess the play based assessment is a sort of pre-evaluation.  They debated a bit about whether to have a psychologist there for the future evaluation since it wasn't clear exactly where he fell socially, but decided it would be a good idea.  Also they plan to bring an interpreter since he comes from a "bilingual household."  I laughed when they said that, but the speech pathologist explained that they want him to get credit for the things he knows in French and it might give them a better idea of where he is cognitively. 

The school district bureaucracy moves slowly, so the evaluation won't take place until beginning of December.  After that, they discussed having me meet with one of the preschool teachers.  Here's hoping he gets into the class and that it will of benefit to him.

Halloween 2011

The kids could NOT wait to go trick-or-treating this year. We managed to get ONE measly picture of them in costume before they raced out the door. In fact, Isaac was ready to go in his underwear and made a beeline for outside. Jonathan had to catch him and remind him get into his tiger suit first, and he loves the tiger costume. He spent at least a half hour the first time he tried it on chasing his big brother and sister around the house and yelling ROAR!

Melissa wanted a cyclops this year so we worked together on it. Matthew scooped, designed, and carved his "alphabet face" pumpkin all by himself this year. Not bad at all!

Everyone had a good time going door to door for candy. Isaac figured out the drill pretty quickly and raced ahead of the big kids so he could be the one to knock and ring the doorbell. Pity the poor adult who didn't react on the first ring, because Isaac was not patient. "Wee wee wee!" [trick or treat!] Bang bang bang! "Wee wee wee!" Bang bang bang!

Isaac was thorough, too. I [Jonathan] would have to pull him away from the houses with no lights on; he wanted everyone to give him candy.

We did three cul de sacs on our way out. Then Isaac started to get tired at about the same time as Matthew's candy bag started to get full. (I emptied Isaac and Melissa's bags from the trunk or treat Saturday; I left Matthew's in the bottom. Heh heh heh.) So everyone was okay with heading back. Isaac faded quickly though, starting to drag after just one more street. "Tu veux retournez chez Mama?" (Do you want to go back to Mama?") "Yeh." He was still torn; houses not yet plundered beckoned, but he allowed me to lead him past the next street while Matthew and Melissa went down it.

Isaac and I stopped at a couple more houses on the way, going so slowly that his brother and sister caught up with us just as we turned into our driveway. And everyone feasted on candy, including yours, who exacted the traditional Daddy Candy Tax.

Isaac and the webcam

Isaac and the webcam
Originally uploaded by jbellis

Isaac's speech therapist

"Ms. Dana" has a cabinet full of toys. Therapy consists of Isaac choosing a toy to play with and Dana keeping up a stream of comments --"Pig hides. Stack hay. Hay falls!" -- and encouraging Isaac to "Use your words! What are we going to do?" (Isaac: "Open!") "We'll open the choo-choo box."

Isaac clearly enjoys it. Today was my first time to take him, and he ran through the building to the right office with me in tow.

I bet he'd be making even faster progress if we lived near Aunt Christine. Somehow, she had the ability to get Isaac to speak to her, more than anyone else.

Of course Aunt Christine was teaching him French, so maybe we'd still need Miss Dana...

On top of the world

I wasn't sure if this was worth a blog post, but Rachel saw the pictures and said, "He's climbing on top of those now?"

Yes. Yes, he is. (I think that puts him a few months behind Melissa in that respect. But not many.)

[Rachel setting the record straight: Actually Melissa didn't start climbing *on top* of the monkey bars until after we moved to San Antonio.  She was nearly 4 when she started her dare-devil tricks.]