Oh crap!

About five minutes before church ended one of the nursery sisters came and got me from priesthood meeting. "Your son needs a diaper. It's leaked."

Well, okay. I can handle that. I'm an experienced dad!

I got Matthew from the nursery room. I pulled back his waistband to see how bad the damage was. I couldn't see his diaper at all. Uh-oh.

Got to the men's room. No changing table. Grr. Matthew doesn't really fit on the counter anymore, but we had to make do. I took his shoes off and pants. His diaper was lodged in the bottom of his left pants leg, with poo crusted all down the leg -- some on his butt, but most on his leg. The sock was indescribably gross; I just threw it out.

I tried wiping with baby wipes but it was far too crusty; I baredly made a difference at all. I put a new diaper on him so he wouldn't pee on me, put his pants back on (it would keep him from getting it on the car, anyway) and declared an emergency. David and Frank and I left right away; 15 minutes later Matthew was in the bathtub, soaking it off.

All in all I have to say not as gross as barf all over but parenting is not a job for the squeamish, that's for sure. :)

Tinky Pooh Pooh!

Disclaimer: This occurred about a week and a half ago, but Jonathan insists that it is worthy of recording... Maybe it's a guy thing?

I took Matthew outside and thought I could squeeze in some gardening. Ha! I spent the first half hour trailing him. Then as luck would have it, the neighbor's cat showed up. Matthew loves animals. The cat is a dim bulb (but good natured) and seems to enjoy Matthew's company. So, instead of tailing Matthew, he chased the cat around the yard and I pulled weeds. A little while later I heard, "Yuck! Tinky!" "Matthew, are you stinky?" "YUCK! Pooh Pooh!" I looked over and saw Matthew peering at the cat. Then the cat wandered off with Matthew still squating and looking intently in the neighbor's garden. Probably a bug or worm I thought. Might as well finish this bed before I take him in to change. After several more minutes of weeding, and more vocal exclamations of disgust from the Peanut gallery, I went over to investigate what had held my son's attention for so long. Matthew was right, smack in the middle of the neighbor's garden was a "Tinky!" A cat "tinky" to be precise. Yuck!

-Rachel

The posts just keep coming

We washed Matthew's teddy bear today; it was getting crusty and nasty with spilled milk and the like. When Rachel presented it to him dry and clean-smelling, Matthew was glad to see it.

Then he said, "Stinky! Poo poo!"

So Rachel got a diaper and they diapered the bear.

"Aw tih!" (all clean) Matthew pronounced. "Dereedoh." (There we go.)

Matthew subsequently wanted to pour his juice in the bear's diaper but Rachel put a stop to that level of authenticity.