Rachel caught a frog in the front yard

(Photos taken 2015-10-20.)

Brushing Tommy's teeth, the hard way

(Photos taken 2015-10-14.)

September Peanuts

• I sent Corinna to change out of the dress that was two sizes too small for her. She didn't want to change, so she hid. I looked for her and called for her for half an hour. Nothing. I started to worry that she had run off. As a last ditch effort before waking up Rachel and calling the police, I called out, "Corinna! I'm going to McDonald's!" Two minutes later she appeared behind me. "Where were you?" I asked. "In my room." "Where?" She showed me a space in her closet. I had looked there twice.
• It was dark in the kitchen. I didn't need the lights to wash my hands. Then I dried them on whatever piece of cloth was nearby. "Wow," I remarked to Rachel. "I don't know what I just dried my hands on, but it sure was dirty." I washed them again. Then I turned the light on. It was one of Matthew's socks.
• I'm supposed to help Isaac study for his spelling test.
  Me: "Confiture."
  Isaac: "It's too hard. I can't spell it."
  Me: "Sound it out. Con. Fi. Ture."
  Isaac: "It's too hard."
  Me: "Okay. Study some more and call me when you're ready to try again."
  Isaac: breaks down in tears.
• Isaac: "We'll start our own clan. You can be the chef." Matthew: "Why would I want to be the chef?" Isaac: "You can be the leader." Nice to see him mixing some French in with his English for a change. Usually it's the other way around.

August Peanuts

• David: "You are starting to look like a weight lifter. I can see muscles under your gut."
• Isaac: "You got me *books* for my birthday?" He was not pleased. Melissa: "Ooh! Can I read that one?" Isaac: "No, it's mine. You can read it tomorrow." He sat down and started reading.
• It's fun seeing Dad get excited about math. Today he showed Matthew how to prove the square root of two is irrational.
• Rachel took Corinna out for a haircut. The salon had Frozen on screen for the kids, so Corinna was willing to sit still. When it was over, she looked in the mirror. "Mom! I wanted BLUE hair!"
• Dad on Matthew, and public schools: "Matthew's a smart kid. But he's not used to thinking hard."
• Tommy (17 months) is amusing himself this morning by opening childproof bottles. That is why our living room carpet smells like Nyquil.
• Tommy's trying to connect his lego-like toy together. "Nee how!" [need help] I help him connect the pieces. "Ta-da!"
• Isaac: there's nothing wrong with my eyes. It's just that the letters were too small. And blurry.
• Homeschool with Grandpa update: Matthew (7th grade) is studying first year college chemistry. Melissa (5th grade) is learning to draw and to use a sewing machine. They are both studying math and history and French as well.
• Grandma and Grandpa are in Nevada for Telitha's new baby. They left assignments for Matthew and Melissa to work on while they are gone this week. Rachel told Matthew and Melissa to do an hour of weeding in the garden first thing before it gets too hot. They started a fight over who got to weed which patch. Melissa broke down completely into an angry shrieking puddle of stubborn. So I put her in the garage where she is yelling loud enough that Rachel, on the phone with me, can hear her. Ladies and gentlemen, the dark side of homeschooling.

July Peanuts

• 3 AM, first night in Washington. Woke up to Tommy crying. Grandma beat me to it and was rocking him. I took him to Rachel and went back to bed. Moments later I heard running, then puking. Wonderful. On the bright side, alone among our kids, Melissa made it to the bathroom. But not to the toilet. I got to clean it up with a hand towel, multipurpose cleaner, and baby wipes because that was all I could find in Grandma's house. Then Rachel made a second pass with paper towels and bleach.
• "Atomic" came on the radio at the gym. Me: Did you realize that Debbie Harry is 70? Chris: Who is Debbie Harry?
• The men are running the nursery in the Sinden ward. Activities include catching the tickle monster and feeding Bob the barfing racoon. The kids love it. Also airplane races: "Everyone put your arms up and make airplane noises!"
•  Kirsti scored 8 on her turn in Small World. Next turn, Brian scored 4. Melissa: "Wow, Kirsti. You're really good at this compared to Brian."
•  I put my laptop on the floor for about ten seconds while I dragged Corinna to the pantry for time out. When I got back Tommy had both hands on the keyboard and chrome was displaying the spinny beach ball of death. I had to force quit it. I should offer his services to Google's QA team.
•  Grandma: "Go change your shirt, Isaac. You've got oatmeal on that one." Isaac starts wiping the oatmeal off his shirt (and onto the carpet). Grandma: "Don't wipe it on the floor!" Isaac, still wiping it on the floor: "I didn't do it!"
•  Corinna: "Je veux regarder Frozen!" [I want to watch Frozen!] Me: "Not until Grandma gets back." Corinna, sings to the tune of *Do you wanna build a snowman*: "Je peux regarder Frozen?"
• Tommy's vocabulary at almost 17 months: Bye Ball Dad Shoes Hot Mama Ow Dog.
• Rachel fixed the printer tonight. "That's why you married me: to fix hardware problems."
• My mother showed Melissa our high school graduation photos. She didn't recognize me.
• I told Isaac he needed to eat something else for breakfast besides chocolate chip muffin.
  He looked around the fridge for something low-effort. "I'll have an apple." He pulled out one of Grandma Ellis's Red Deliciouses. I cut it up for him. After a few bites, he made a face. "There's something wrong with this apple. It's juicy, but it doesn't taste right." The only thing wrong with it was that it was a Red Delicious. I made him finish it. Rachel says that was harsher than she would have been.
• Melissa, to Isaac: "... someday, when you are older, I will sit on your shoulders and fart."
• Isaac hated "Inside Out," and said so half a dozen times during the showing--loudly. He doesn't want his cartoons to teach him anything. I loved it.
• Took Isaac to the optometrist. Turns out he is nearsighted in one eye and farsighted in the other.

Tommy caught his sister's pukes

The vomiting didn't bother him so much. But when I had to launder his blankie he was a sad sad Tommy.

(Photos taken 2015-10-05.)

A sad day for Tommy

(Photos taken 2015-09-26.)

Corinna made it about 2/3 of the way up David's rope

(Photos taken 2015-09-12.)

Main Event

(Photos taken 2015-09-06.)

Labor Day

(Photos taken 2015-09-07.)

The burger prank

Matthew volunteered to make me a hamburger. I opened it to see if he remembered to put mayonnaise on it and got a surprise.

(Photos taken 2015-08-30.)

First day of school with Grandma and Grandpa

(Photos taken 2015-08-24.)

Tommy's turn to drive

(Photos taken 2015-08-24.)

Animé Overload

(Photos taken 2015-08-15.)

June Peanuts

• I pulled something in my lower back. Sitting is painful. Walking is painful. Rachel: "You didn't go to the gym today, did you?" Me: "No. My back hurts." Rachel: "Well, that doesn't mean you can't work on your arms."
• Matthew is at band camp this week. He was supposed to Skype us from his laptop, since he couldn't find his phone. He left a message with a friend's phone that he was sorry but he couldn't get the wifi to work. Today we dropped off a cheap tracfone because Rachel was getting frustrated that he didn't call. Serious nerd points deducted.
• Matthew: "The food at camp was better than I expected. Yesterday I had 2 cinnamon rolls and cheesecake for lunch. And another cheesecake." Me: That was lunch? Matthew: And a coke.
• Matthew: I learned something important at band camp. People are crazy impressed if you can solve a rubix cube. Me: Girls too? Matthew: Sometimes. But the boys were more excited about it honestly.
• Matthew beat me at Carcassone. Playing during church is our new tradition.
• Rachel: "Jonathan would have looked good in the 1920s." David: "Because everyone wore hats."
• Rachel: "Corinna, don't pull your pants down in front of your brother while singing, Butt butt butt butt."
• Tommy threw a tantrum because Mommy wouldn't give him more medicine.
• Isaac (almost 7) had a hot dog, potatoes, and fruit salad... then he ate about 10 ounces of steak. While eating he treated me to an extended discourse on how he likes steak best because of the juices, and how his Mommy makes the best steaks.
• Tommy (15m) brought me a diaper. I put it on my desk. He squatted down and pooped. Then he handed me the diaper again. I got the message. He might be our youngest to potty train by a wide margin.
• Helped Mom and Dad move into Austin. Mom said to leave access to the phone jack in the office. Then she had to explain land lines to Matthew.

Tommy likes to drive

(Photos taken 2015-08-16.)

Tommy tries some unsanctioned salsa

Unclear if he's a fan.

(Photos taken 2015-08-10.)

Isaac's birthday, day two

Pokemon cards from Mom and an Android - enabled camera spy tank from Dad. The pokemon is a huge hit with Isaac. The tank is a huge hit with Matthew.

(Photos taken 2015-08-09.)

May Peanuts

• OH: "I'm having a good laugh thinking of Jonathan in Sales. Putting the cold in cold calling."
• Rachel: 'Why are you in your swimming suit?" Corinna: "'Cause I can't find my 'jammies. But I can find my swimming suit!"
• I'm pretty allergic to fire ants and got stung several times doing bear crawls with David in the park yesterday. Looking up treatment. Lots of advice on "don't go near fire ants if you're allergic." Thanks, Captain Obvious. (Ended up going to the doctor the next day. He said the swelling on my wrist was probably a spider bite and gave me cephalexin.)
• Four months ago, I got a new guitar. Corinna came with me to the store and the bright pink guitar on the wall stole her heart. I told her she wasn't big enough for a guitar yet. Today she came over to me. "Papa, regarde!" She demonstrated how she could buckle the toddler leash on herself AND unbuckle it. "I bigger! I have pink guitar now?"
• Tommy (14 months) understands "put this in the trash can." But he has only about a 20% chance of remembering what he's supposed to do by the time he gets there. (Rachel adds, "Sometimes he likes to make withdrawals from the trashcan instead of deposits.")
• Matthew (12) has his first zit.
• It is 4:30. Isaac is practicing the violin. Matthew is practicing the French horn. This would have been a good day to commute to the office.
• Rachel and I saw They Might Be Giants with Joshua and Jeni Slack.  Fun show.
• Me: "Your new washing machine is nice, but maybe we should get a smaller model. We can't close the door to the laundry room anymore." Rachel: "If you think about it, the problem isn't that the machine is too big. The problem is the room is too small."
• "Jonathan, we just added a movie you might like: Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast." Looks like it's time for another talk with the kids about logging in to the right Netflix account.
• Had a floor-spinningly good workout with David today. 240 lb "farmer carries" followed by sprinting and battle ropes. Been a while since I felt that out of shape. Bonus: Christine was showing me up too. Nothing like panting on the floor while your little sister does recline rows and pull ups.
• I'm not sure what they were fighting about, but I called Melissa to the kitchen to unload the dishes and now she is humming through gritted teeth, "Matthew is a carrot. Matthew is a carrot. Matthew ... "
• It's hard to find the right words to describe how epic Monday's workout was. Let me put it this way. I've gone 38 years more or less oblivious to whatever muscles control your ankles. I did my job, they did theirs, and that was that. Today, my ankle muscles are sore. They would have felt left out otherwise, because everything else is too.
• Corinna: "I want two babies. A pink one, and a black one."

April Peanuts

• Buick had major engine problems. Bad rod bearing or something similarly catastrophic. Under warranty, but the dealer we took it to said we didn't have sufficient documentation of oil changes (we let it go about 10k miles without a change at one point) and wanted $7000 to fix it.  Fortunately we tried a second dealer who just fixed it for free.  (This took weeks from start to finish.)
• Melissa just absent-mindedly called my sister Christine "Dad." At least when I mix up my kids' names I keep it within gender boundaries.  Update: this has become something of a habit.  She slips up about every other visit from Christine.
• Dad is in town. That means he's fixing things.  Up first: new in-wall microwave whose mounting kit didn't quite mount it. I think the remediation plan involves an angle grinder.
• Dad: "Why is your internet so slow?" Well. Time to upgrade.
• I spent way too much time this month playing Dungeon of the Endless.
• Took family pictures in a fire-ant infested clearing. I woke up at 5 AM the next morning because the dozen ant bites on my feet itched so intensely. Next year: indoor pictures.
• Ate ramen every day on my Tokyo trip. I call that a success.
• Also in Tokyo: There was no gym in the hotel, and it was a small Japanese-style room with not much room to exercise. There was barely room to get down and do push ups, but not enough to do sit-throughs. So I asked myself, "What would David do?" And I put the desk and chair on the bed to make room.
• Corinna, 3, likes to sing along with the Teen Titans theme song. I think she knows more of the words than even Let it Go.
• How to stop smoking, according to Melissa (10): "Keep a lollipop in your mouth."